Dear Grandpa,

You were one of a kind; a really special man. It's hard to describe the feeling I would get knowing that I would be seeing you soon! I remember in kindergarten sitting around the perimeter of the rug with my classmates paying no attention to what my teacher was saying. I was so excited that you would be there when I got home so out of the blue, I raised my hand and proclaimed, "My Grandpa is visiting me today!" I got in trouble for not paying attention, but to me, it was worth it, and that's saying A LOT.

So many of my favorite childhood memories are with you. I'll always be grateful to you for being as fun as you were; hosting summer camp, and for telling me stories about Bambi taking on that mean old hunter. Do you remember me waking you up at 5 am so that we could go to Denny's together? For years, I was amazed that you were magical. I mean, you could make the stop light turn from red to green!! You were so easy to love and you still are.

You were quite a stinker, as I came to realize later on in life. I used to get so mad at you when you would cheat at bridge or when you would change the golf scores. It ruffled all the adults' feathers... especially Grandma's. But I have to admit now, it was really endearing when Grandma would let you have it and call you by your last name. And I have to ask you, why did you try to get me in trouble that one time you told me Vicki had glass in her purse? I tried to take it away from her and she started crying. WHY? :) We already fought a lot on our own in those days.

Thank you for loving our silly plays, our dance recitals and terrible school musicals. We certainly loved them at the time, even though we now all know they were pretty cheesy, but hey, you liked that terrible Jungle Queen boat tour.... I don't think you ever understood how good at piano I was because you'd always listen to the terrible musical sing-along tapes Vicki and I would send you and never the tapes where I was playing really challenging pieces and quite well I might add. But I guess that's who you were. You and Grandma never put on airs to appear hoity toity or pretentious. You worked hard for what you had in life and never thought the world owed you anything.

When I told you that I was going to Indiana, you were really happy for me. You and Grandma kept telling me about Hoagy Carmichael going to Indiana and how he wrote a beautiful song called Stardust. I dedicated that song to you today. One thing really confused me back in college. I'd like to blame this on your old-fashioned nature, but why did you always tell me I should be a teacher? Do you know something about me that I don't? I used to get so angry at you. I thought you thought I wasn't smart enough to make it in the corporate world. But I was wrong.

The last time I ever spoke to you, you said how proud you were of me. I will always remember that and I am so grateful you told me. That was right before you were supposed to have that heart surgery. You told me you were scared, and thinking about that moment makes me cry.

I want to say I'm sorry. When you couldn't go into surgery because of that stroke and they moved you to hospice, I was really scared. I drove up to see you in Chicago and was shocked seeing you laying there in the hospital bed unable to say much or focus your eyes. I tried to be strong and not cry. I even avoided having a private talk with you like Traci and Dre did. All I could remember was you telling me how scared you were. There is no doubt in my mind that had I sat with you alone, I would have balled. I thought that would scare you more. Selfishly, I also wanted to remember that phone call we shared as our last talk. I hope you forgive me. I hope you were ok with that.

I miss you everyday. Most of all, I miss hearing your beautiful voice singing in church and that crazy dance you used to do; the one where all your change would jingle. :) Please forgive me for sharing this letter with my friends, but I'd like to think you are looking over my shoulder as I write this.

Happy Birthday, Grandpa!
Aloha,
Veronica